he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
