your room smells of hookers.
And success
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
