That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
