Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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