You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sober January is a disaster.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
