Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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