Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize