So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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