what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
