In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize