Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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