please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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