Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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