she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
