what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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