Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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