eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
