Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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