My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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