pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
