so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
