if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
