? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
