then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
