after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
