you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize