I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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