READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
