Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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