may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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