Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
