i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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