One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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