I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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