Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
