I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
