Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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