also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
