where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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