We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How's work?
Spinning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize