i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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