your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize