it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize