the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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