I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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