My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
