haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
