Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
