Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
