his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
