I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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