I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
