i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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