I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize