the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
