he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
