did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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