so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
