Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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