ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
