on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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