I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
