Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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