I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize