I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
