we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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