I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
