You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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