I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
