$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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