He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
