You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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