Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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