ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
