We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
