the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
